Yes, despite getting up at 5.45am every day to go walking for an hour and despite my chirpy greetings to my workmates in the morning, I'm actually a sleep deprived and rather bitter morning person who resents the sunshine's influence on my life.
You see, things never start off well for me in the morning because I rarely get a good nights rest. First of all my brain won't shut up about whatever it's currently fixated on - a situation, person, fanfiction, short story idea, song...anything that it wants to focus on it will and it will not let me sleep for a long, long time.
Once I finally do get to sleep I then get tossed into a surreal and confusing dream world where I'm constantly running, falling, crawling, hiding, flying...you get the picture. My dreams are not logical and I rarely dream about things that have anything to do with my actual life. For instance a typical dream for me involves running from aliens inside a crumbling apartment building but then I get attacked by zombies and I turn into a zombie but I'm still intelligent so I hide in an elevator but the elevator plummets to the basement and the aliens are waiting so I hide in a closet and the closet has a secret air duct in it that I crawl into and then crawl through a range of tunnels that get smaller and smaller and then I come out and I'm in a mall and the security guard (who looks like my boss) is chasing me because he thinks I've stolen a shirt...
Things go on like that for a while. My dreams also involve the same few locations. Like the crumbling apartment building, the mall, the basement with the leaking pipes and stairs, the air vent tunnels, the cliff face and my nanna's house. The locations have kind of morphed over time, but I remember them. I know for instance that if I'm in the crumbling apartment building or the mall I should avoid the elevators as they will plummet to the basement. In my nanna's house there is a secret room that can be reached through closets and air ducts. Over the years of insane dreams about aliens hunters, doctors who want my blood and a killer who chases me through air ducts, I have mapped out my strange dream world.
But that's not the point, is it? The stupid dreams are the reason why when I wake up in the morning I'm frequently disorientated and usually grumpy. I do not like the morning. I do not like the light or the noise. I do not like that people are around and that they'll try to engage me in conversation. I do not like that my cat gets to look all smug and warm and happy when I have to get up. I prepare for the morning ahead like someone who faces a death sentence.
First up I have to go walking. I usually wear my pyjamas since my pyjamas are my exercise clothes. It works for me as this way I have to do very little before leaving the house. I'll put on shoes, drink a glass of water, put on some sunglasses to hide my red swollen eyes and pop some gum in my mouth, then I'm off.
I walk with a couple of other people and all of them are insanely awake and happy in the morning while we walk. Luckily, everyone else usually talks at me without expecting a response or to each other, which is good because for the first half an hour of the walk I'm struggling to think clearly let alone hold a conversation or sound intelligent. By the time we get home I'm awake, although not entirely happy.
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You see, once I get home I have to face a barrage of tasks designed to slow me down and prevent me from actually getting to work. Things like eating breakfast (which I hate!). I have to eat breakfast to fuel my body for the day, but I hate breakfast. It makes me feel sick. I also resent having to wash and dry my hair, get dressed, brush my hair, brush my teeth, put on makeup, put on shoes...the tasks ahead mount up and I do them with a dogged determinedness.
If I get these things done I can get to work. If I get to work I can start work. I start work I will finish work. If I finish work I can go home and return to sleep. It's a vicious circle.
The problem is that once I get to work I am faced with people. By this stage I'm able to greet people in a friendly and chirpy manner...but it's mostly an act. Deep down I resent these people who are awake and friendly and talkative. Oh yes, they talk. Boy do they talk. Once I get to work all I want to do is sit at my desk, check my email and get COFFEE!!!
By this stage as I sit at my computer trying to block out the outside world I hear the noise I dread...children. I hear them outside laughing and yelling and having 'fun'. I know that the children will be loud and irritating when I get to class. It isn't their fault...that's how they are. But I hate it.
It is also around this time that things begin to turn around though. After my first cup of coffee I fell better...so I have another...and another. By the time I finish my third cup I'm quivering with more energy than a chipmunk on a sugar high. Suddenly I can take on whatever the day throws at me and so, with an extra cup of coffee in hand I dash to the classroom and prepare to educate the next generation.
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By the by, workmates should not be offended! I love you all dearly...I just don't cope well with mornings!
This blog has been written in the spirit of procrastination! Huzzah: